This week I turn 73 years old. Truth be told, I feel like I’ve aged a decade in the last year. My eyesight and hearing are worse, my skin is even more thin and sensitive to flying insects and poisonous plants, and I am moving about in farmland and elsewhere with less speed and more care. In her essay, “Building the House,” from her book of essays, Upstream, Mary Oliver refers to this phase of personal aging as “the beginning of descent.” That is the perfect description for how I feel about this birthday.

I was going to boo-hoo my way through the week by posting sad poems and journal excerpts, but then I saw the above painting which sits outside my small poetry room. “I wonder how the late artist, Ann St. John Hawley, coped with the beginning of her descent,” I thought.

I own 14 paintings by Ann St. John Hawley and the one directly above is the first painting I purchased in March 1996 — 30 years ago. Ann was 75, just two years older than me when she painted it. She first started to paint 20 years earlier when she was 55 years old.

Three years later in October 1999, I purchased the painting directly above. Shortly after, I received a hand-written note from Ann: Dear Sharon, No words can express the happiness I feel in knowing that you wish to live with my paintings. Thank you for this honor. Sincerely, Ann. Two years later, In December 2001, I purchased the painting below:

After buying this painting, Ann mailed me another short note: Please come to see me if you ever come to Taos. We’ll have coffee or tea and a little visit. I look forward to this. Sincerely, Ann.

Five years later and several Hawley-painting-purchases later, I would visit Ann in her studio where we would have tea and a wonderful conversation that I recorded. Here’s one excerpt, other excerpts will be published here this week.

SHARON:  I often have trouble hearing my own voice, even when I’m writing.

SAINT:  Well, who doesn’t?  What do we expect of ourselves?  We aren’t totally in touch with God all the time, although we’re with him all the time.  Sometimes we get closer than at other times.  Just pray.

SHARON:  How do you pray?

SAINT:  I don’t know how to pray except to live my life as beautifully as I can.