To explain #4: About 10 years ago, scientists detected traces of cannabis in 17th-century fragments excavated from Shakespeare’s garden in Stratford-upon-Avon. There is no direct evidence that the pipes belonged to Shakespeare himself, but honestly, folks, how do we explain Shakespeare lines like this?

— “I must to the barber’s, monsieur; for methinks I am marvellous hairy about the face; and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 4, Scene 1)

— “Exit, pursued by a bear.” (The Winter’s Tale, Act 3, Scene 3) From this quote we can speculate that scientists found traces of gummy bear.

— “Would I were in an alehouse in London. I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.” (Henry V, Act 3, Scene 2 ) “Pot of ale”? I think thee not, but perhaps I doobie suspect too much.