June 3, 2025

Used Up and Spent?

This week I am marking a birthday that will push me further into my 70’s, not to mention the final jumping off place. That and the news that yet another beloved is entering hospice have left me a bit unbalanced. Symbolizing these forthcoming losses are all of the fields in my beloved farmland which are barren compared to the same time last year. My farmland is federal land. Budget cuts? Staff cuts? Whatever the reasons, they are sad to see.

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These desolate fields were difficult to see in person and their images even more difficult. How do I see beyond them? Is there anything beyond them? True to form, I turn to a poem by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer in her collection, The Unfolding that I first read in February. I read the poem again and look again at these images. Yes, I see. Yes, I see how even barren fields hold the sunrise.

18 Comments

  • I actually thought the barren land was quite beautiful in your photos. Sometimes (not always) I can see rest and recovery and rebirth in fallow earth.

    Actual humans I love falling ill or going into hospice … cannot see the beauty in that at all.

  • Yikes what a contrast!! I am so sorry when you got back to your beloved terrain the lands were desolate. I hope the poem provides some consolation. The poetry is beautiful. A good reminder not only about the outdoors but our cellular bodies as well.

  • I think your blogs have been going to my spam because I have genuinely missed them. Your birthday is a special time. Embrace the parts you can. I am deeply sorry about your friend, XO

  • Your friend is my friend, too, and Parkinson’s is a hard road to travel to the end. I am sorry we are losing a sweet friend.

    All your photos are beautiful. I think of the fields not as fallow, but as returning to the wild. If untouched by agricultural practices they would likely return to forest, which would not be all bad either.

    Thanks for reminding me to order The Unfolding. I love Trommer’s poetry which is so enriched by finding beauty in the world after her own catastrophic loss.

    • The friend I am referring to in the opening paragraph is not our mutual friend, but in many ways, all of my friends and all of your friends are, in a way, OUR friends. The friend in the first paragraph is the friend I told you about over the weekend.

      Thanks for finding the beauty in these photos. Took me a while to see it. I was just so shocked to see all the desolation. Rumors are that the current administration may sell the land for real estate development. The thought just breaks me.

      • Oh! So sorry I confused the friends. So much loss and I am so sorry for the swirling loss of your friends.

        I am so grateful for the beauty of those fields and angry but not surprised that the current administration wants to sell the land for development as he does with the PUBLIC land in Wyoming. Grrrr. I’ll join you in the field for a protest to the sale!

        • Thank you, Beth. I can’t think of a better protest warrior than you. We shall plant ourselves in the middle of a field and be prepared to kick ass. Gawd, I can’t stomach this administration!

  • I know I am posting something that is related to my series on “Surgical Lessons,” but I just got this response from the physical therapist and was very touched:


    “MISS SHARON!!! I loved your articles!! All of them!! It’s nice to get a better understanding of the patient perspective throughout the whole process.

    “And you said the “work” one was going to be about PT, but it read more like a tribute to me specifically, lol. Thank you so much for the kind words in your article. It was sweet of you, and flattering to hear – even if it was partially torture. 😉 Do you mind if I share the series with the team here? I know they would enjoy them too.

    “Hope you are still stretching!

    Apryl”


  • First, Sharon, I’ll address the fields at the Ag Farms. I’m hoping that they haven’t gotten as much rain this year as they had last year. I know we got enough rain in April & May last year to shorten the Strawberry Picking season drastically. … And again with hope, maybe we’ll be fortunate that it will take at least 3 1/2 years for Trump to purchase the farmland (the conversion will take longer), which then won’t happen because he won’t be President again. It does take time for these things – an example is the new FBI HQ coming to Greenbelt. Yes I know, optimism oozes from my pores!

    It’s terrible that as we get older & need people around us, they get ill & leave our world. I’m pretty sure you have had more of your beloveds have leave your world than I have. The only way I’ve learned to cope (or take comfort) when this has happened to me, is this. I realize wouldn’t have known that those people passed away if I hadn’t known them. Each & every one has taught me something; big or small, it affected my life. It hurts me when they hurt, & when they pass away because I love them greatly. It’s very, very hard, but the love is worth it to me.

    I wish you everything you need to find joy in your birthday & all that is going on around you.

    • First, I hope you are right about the farmland, Laura, and I had forgotten how slowly the wheels of government turn.

      Second and more importantly, what a beautiful and wise perspective you have shared about losing our loved ones. Thank you. It never gets any easier, but perhaps we grow into facing the inevitable losses with more forgiveness and grace. xoxo

  • The skies are so beautiful and so full of promise in each of your photos of desolation, and they illustrate so well Trommer’s poem, as they do indeed, like the dry leaves and bare branches of her poem, “hold the sunrise.” And I like to believe that they will also hold all the coming sunsets of the fading years ahead. I have “The Unfolding” tucked away in my book bag for my coming cabin-time weeks. Thanks for this wonderful gift, and thanks for this truly beautiful piece.

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