Pain and simple, total knee replacement surgery hurts, and for the first two weeks, it’s a real shitshow. [That word, by the way, is sophisticated enough to be in the Cambridge English Dictionary as well as to be transformed into a gold bracelet (see above photo). Thank you, Betsy — I’m wearing it at this moment.]
My prescription to oxyCODONE alleviated the worst of the pain to be sure. But it also made me loopy, i.e., I panicked while FaceTiming Adrienne one morning because I couldn’t find my iPhone; the iPhone I was holding in my right hand.
Worse, I was unable to concentrate which meant I couldn’t read. “Brain fog” had descended, a common experience when one is in chronic pain. I resorted to binge-watching all 39 episodes of Succession (again), and watched the Oscar-winning animated film, “Flow” at least four times. My sweet neighbor, Laura, gifted me with a couple volumes of “Mad Libs” but soon I couldn’t even concentrate on those few words.
I wanted to scream, scream and scream again. Concerned, my beloved Carol thought I needed to lighten up and play, so she sent me these goofy guys for stress relief. Pull their hair and they each emit six different screams. GENIUS!
Then I discovered books with mostly pictures and illustrations:
Soon, I was able to concentrate enough to go through old New Yorkers for cartoons worthy of my proprietary cartoon file.
Six weeks after surgery, the pain was still there, feeling more like a nagging, irritating toothache that was keeping me awake at night. My screamers could only do so much. I was chronically surly, grumpy, prickly, crabby . . . could ANYTHING vanquish my pain and petulance?
Then one afternoon, my walking buddy, Rick whose action figure collectibles number in the thousands, stopped by to pain er, play it forward by gifting me with my very own Ripley action figure from “Aliens”! More specifically, Ripley in my very favorite, “Get-away-from-her, you bitch!” pose! Click on the hyperlink to see the actual scene from “Aliens”! You’ll be empowered and your pain will dissipate!
TOMORROW: SURGICAL LESSONS — WORK!
But have you ever looked for your phone using the flash light on your phone? I love Succession and Roz Chast too, but not as much as I LOVE Flow! Wonderful movie!
Pain is all-encompassing. I don’t know how people live with severe chronic pain.
Good morning, dear Neola! No, I have never looked for my phone using the flashlight on my phone, đ!
Isnât âFlowâ the best? If only humans could create community like those critters.
I appreciate your bringing up people who must live with severe chronic pain. My pain was really never severe â I was off my oxyCODONE in 10 days â but it worked well enough that I could understand why someone would get hooked. Really frightening, actually.
You endured. Bravo you. Tears and laughter. You found a way.
Thank you, Charlotte. Could NOT have done it without my posse, as Laura says. xoxo
So glad that play and laughter helped to pull you through the most painful part of healing. Your post is a good reminder that we must remember to play through the pain of the current administration.
Wow, Beth — I never thought of playing through the pain of the current administration. Mostly I feel like every time I hear about another disgrace from the current occupant of the White House, I throw up in my mouth. Remember that blow-up four-foot George W. Bush boxing toy? They make one that features Trump, but it’s designed to AFFIRM Trump, not punch the hell out of him. Is nothing sacred anymore?
https://www.amazon.com/President-Inflatable-Balloon-Indoor-Fun-Poolside-Decoration/dp/B0D9PHDFPY/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2GZTC9HCBMR7B&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1WXuRP8CO_c7JyCzS4et8h82gUvH3wTcwMj1-EUYll2tP40738HJQ4-lloGHgnfXkfXuM-sgkWdDrNU9wcJXrzhFzo6aC3gVE3WIrI8BIyFD3YPPlr7NSORSZS_UxJFacygi82KrJj7oHjZt1Ev8nhKeVbIir9gjaFUxrCyAk1BBBZWvmCQzIQ4cTn-h1xoV5bG6TIEG2_DASfsdbR3Ah7FTQT-A4bHWvlrmIWTlsCBkLKrELQzI2oNwqFH7qwAi1Mjw2lhyRn2hqCcHKBXn-xULgXfTvKMHOEdNsRWfdB8.7ky7NAyDutKd4b72fIm_GhVkA3iJANIZ1f8v58Ee2fA&dib_tag=se&keywords=trump+boxing+bag&qid=1748354506&sprefix=trump+boxing+%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-2
Damn, that’s one hellavu long link — as long as his stupid red ties.
Oh my goodness, the Ripley action figure is the perfect gift for you. So wonderful of him to know that and to share it with you.
I mean, right, Wendy? Also, that you know how perfect that action figure is for me says something wonderful about you, too. Not just anyone can appreciate how much Ripley — in that particular “Aliens” scene — means to me. xoxo
Darn! I’ve already boxed your birthday gifts for June 5, otherwise I would have ordered you the Trump punching bag for sure! Looks like the sayings could (MUST) be modified with Duct Tape and Sharpies!
Beth, there’s always CHRISTMAS!!!!
What a resourceful person you are! I so often want to “think through” any pain in my life, which often just leads to further pain, in all the muddling of my thoughts. Thanks for your ability to laugh amidst your pain and carry on. A gift to all of us!
Carol — you are being WAY TOO MODEST. You are the one who gifted me with my screamers. Look at those things . . . aren’t they the BEST?! You may need a set of your own to distract you from all the muddling of your thoughts. xoxo