Gawd, I HATE the term “neural pathways.” It’s right up there with “paradigm shift” and “synergistic core competencies.” “Neural pathways” came up during a session with Saundra, my writing coach, and I just did NOT get it. For one thing, the term itself doesn’t have a whit of poetry about it. For another, I had no idea what a “neural pathway” is, and I am not stupid. (The term is defined in the hyperlink under “neural pathway” in the previous sentence because I refuse to write it out.)
Saundra and I were discussing “The Infinity Prompt” designed by Allison Fallon in her book, The Power of Writing it Down: A Simple Habit to Unlock Your Brain and Reimagine Your Life. The prompt is a five-step approach to writing a story that can change the way the brain can escape the “rut” of a neural pathway; “a thought pattern, memorized feeling and brilliantly self-protective behavior that have become a self-fulfilling prophecy.” For example, a child who experiences punishment for arguing with a parent may develop a neural pathway that associates speaking up with punishment.
Or, in my case, a child develops a neural pathway that associates speaking the truth with abject selfishness because of a mother who constantly said that the child was “the most selfish child in the entire world, and children are starving in India.” (Yes, my mother actually said that.) The child, now an adult, feels guilty when she writes about her life. She believes her selfishness caused her to be like her mother and abandon key parts of who she is: “Please be quiet,” the adult says to these parts. “You think only of yourself, and you make my life miserable. I’ll write about you the WAY I WANT TO.” So the adult does and begins to feel guilty and then . . . Just. Shuts. Down.
[Okay, Saundra, I think I finally get it — I need to get out of this “rut,” but I refuse to call it a “neural pathway.” For me, it’s more like finding new trails in the wilderness.]
In a previous post, I included among my many fits and starts to write my story, an entirely new approach — a play entitled, “The Harvey Girls Reunion.” In it, five characters meet around a dinner table to get to know one another:
— THE CHILD: 10 years old in the 1950s
— THE TEEN: 18 years old in the 1960s
— THE CHRISTIAN: 25 years old in the 1970s
— THE LESBIAN: 35 years old in the 1980s
— THE PROFESSIONAL: 50 years old in the 1990s
— THE ARTIST: 65+ years old in the 21st century.
These characters are all parts of myself that I have abandoned in one way or another. I had written 40+ pages, but stopped about eight months ago because an old, entrenched pathway led me to the same tired stopping point. The characters literally rebelled against the playwright because the play they were in was getting nowhere. To restore my pathway — my relationship with each part — I am writing out dialogues I am having with each one separately as we walk on what I am see as another pathway in the wilderness.
NEXT POST: A Dialogue with THE CHILD — “I’m so sad and lonely. Why didn’t you ever notice?”
I’m a big fan of your writing. Didn’t change it too much.
Thank you, Neola! We must have been separated at birth because we both are awake at the same time, you on the West Coast and me on the East. I keep odd hours, but they are worth it if they connect the two of us.
I’m a big fan of my writing, too. I just want to be able to FINISH what I START! So many fits and starts. No endings. That’s what I want to change. xoxo
Of course I meant to write “Don’t change it too much.” Ahhhh yes, I am the partial author of six unfinished books and one that only needs to be edited. Finishing a writing project is hard. Glad you are focusing on that. Much love to you.
Here we are again, awake together in the middle of the night. Thanks for continuing to journey with me. ❤️🙏
Want to give a shout out to my beloved prayer warrior, Charlotte, who helped talk me off the ledge about “neural pathways.” The term doesn’t exactly assist her, either. (Perhaps she is as solidly right-brained as I am.) What needs to be healed are what she calls “parts.” I learned later that “parts” therapy is from IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy, a type of psychotherapy that helps people understand and heal the different parts of their psyche. Charlotte is not formally trained in IFS, per se, but some sort of derivative.
It doesn’t matter, though, does it? I had never before heard of IFS therapy. That my Harvey Girls characters or “parts” intuited this kind of on their own is affirming. They appear to know more than I do which I didn’t realize until I put pen to paper.
To her credit, after wrestling with the term “neural pathways,” and landing on my preferred metaphor — “trails in the woods” — which I shared with Saundra, she responded:
“What’s important is that the process aligns with you, as a human and with your work in progress. I hereby release you from any more talk of neuroscience.”
I can breathe again!
Blessings for your journey on new trails in the forest. My understanding is that with age it is important for us to create NEW neural pathways or our brain declines. This means trying or learning new things to create those pathways. I’m conscious of this because of my mother’s dementia. She had very strong and grooved habits and pretty much stopped doing anything new or different. Her world became smaller, shrinking with her brain.
Call it whatever you want, but I think you are headed in a positive direction. You are creating a new trail in the woods and avoiding a dead end with your writing project. I find this link more helpful than the one you posted: https://maximus.com/the-brain-our-habits
Beth — you are correct — your link is much better than the Wiki link I provided that I really didn’t understand, anyway. However, what do you think of this perspective from the article you linked?: “It requires about 10,000 repetitions — translating to a minimum of three months of practice — to develop a new neural pathway and master a new pattern of behavior. This timeframe can fluctuate, as each brain is unique.”
WHOA. Kind of reminds me when my mother made her daughters write sentences when we misbehaved, but, of course, that I thought of her and her form of punishment is one of my embedded neural pathways.
I haven’t finished reading the article yet. The”10,000 repetitions” made me lose my spit. I’ll finish it now.
This may be the clearest definition of “mindfulness” that I’ve ever read (again from Beth’s linked article):
“Mindfulness is adopting a mindset of intentionality to notice and pay attention to the present moment without judgment. We can practice mindfulness with the simple intention to notice our breath, thoughts, and sensory experiences. Taste each morsel of your food and drink, feel the wind, and hear the sounds around us in the moment.”
This, I can do, and actually, AM doing at times.
Blessings on your pathways. Use whatever is useful so that you can love ALL of you and ALL of your history. You deserve that love.
Thank you, dear Charlotte. xoxo
Your courage, dear Friend, has carried you this far on so many paths…neural or otherwise(!). As you focus now on developing new paths within those neuron-y thingies, do your best to stay ever present and ever strong. Not always easy to change patterns, and this may take some time. We’re all standing/walking/being mindfully present with you!
“Neuron-y thingies”! When will
I ever read that again?! Thank you, Carol, for your continued companionship on the pathway thingie! 🙏❤️
Beautiful images. And I agree with Neola. XO