“An undercover spy is about to impersonate you in all aspects of your life.

Write Instructions.”

Yesterday, I posted Part One of “Operation Sharonimo” — created from a writing prompt (above) assigned to me by my faithful Write Wing companion who wishes to remain anonymous.  Part One focused on the “asset’s” appearance and routines, and following is Part Two. My Write Wing companion’s assessment of this assignment follows the last photo in this post.

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SKILLS/HOBBIES:

When she is not walking or engaged in client work, asset is reading a book from piles in several locations around her home: on either side of her living room reading chair; next to the toilet; her night stand and on the pillow farthest away from the nightstand; her second bedroom; and her small writing room upon the desk of which rests five piles of books. At any one time, she is reading five to seven books, two of which are volumes of poetry and one of which is usually about some aspect of the Holocaust.  The books on her bookshelves are in alphabetical order according to genre.

Asset is an accomplished writer who is challenged to trust her voice, particularly following the death of her mother in January 2018 and subsequent estrangement from her father. This renders her writing flat and tentative. We sense asset is attempting to tamp down anger. She has kept a journal since 1973 and in 1979, added a daily diary, and since then has been faithful to both. Unfortunately, this habit has not been replicated in her independent creative writing – particularly a working memoir entitled, Black Rectangles. This fills asset with shame and exposes a key weakness to exploit. We suspect that she walks to distance herself from a blank page and pen; thus we are presently planning a clandestine operation to plant scathing critiques of her writing on social media platforms that will significantly extend her walking periods. This will allow Agent 99 amble time to thoroughly search the asset’s premises.

Asset owns nearly 300 pieces of original art that focuses on the female form. She has described her home as “an art storage facility with a bed.” In addition, she has compiled a proprietary collection of 500+ New Yorker cartoons catalogued by subject.

Although she won more than 40 marketing industry awards when her professional career was in full swing, she currently takes most pride in being a Maker’s Mark Ambassador.

In 1985, she was picked out of a Sea World audience to kiss a beluga whale named Belinda.  Her framed certificate of appreciation hangs on a second bedroom wall underneath her framed college diploma.

CHARACTER TRAITS

Asset is very creative, curious, cynical, determined, empathic, frugal, generous, intense and pessimistic. In her words, her “greatest strength is championing the underdog” and her “greatest weakness is not knowing when to shut up about it.”

She easily connects with strangers, often asking questions about a piece of jewelry or clothing they may be wearing or how they landed on the names for their dogs. Stories fuel her creativity and curiosity, and their importance is evidenced by her email signature that includes this line from a Mary Oliver poem, “There are so many stories more beautiful than answers.”

She distrusts and always questions authority and sometimes, reality.  She relentlessly questions God.

She has a quick and ready sense of humor and appreciates a clever joke or prank.

EMOTIONS

Asset runs the gamut of emotions from anger and fury to despair and fear to delight and impudence.

In 2013, she was formally diagnosed with double depression that had gone undiagnosed for decades and for which she takes daily anti-depressants. Her profound fear of abandonment often dictates her obsequious deference to others whose affirmation she believes she needs. Now that she is semi-retired (not her choice), her sycophancy is exercised less often, but she still behaves and reacts — too often and however unconsciously – like a wounded child in need of attention.

CONCLUSION:

The most efficient and effective way to impersonate and thereby compromise asset is to unwittingly set up relationship dynamics that inevitably lead to abandonment. Asset will respond with either fury or shame, both of which are incapacitating.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY:

Order Smarties candy in bulk from the factory, typically 12 pounds per order. Asset eats four packs per day between 12:00 and 13:30. She actually stops reading — sometimes even setting down a book — to eat this stuff. Good heavens, does she think she’s still in 8th grade?

Write Wing Companion Assessment:   Grade A-  

Brilliant — absolutely thorough and hilarious. Asset should save that memorandum whenever she feels she has lost her way and/or her voice, and it will lead her home. Points deducted only for failure to acknowledge Asset’s well-known associations with members of the leftish group, The Write Wing, particularly the dangerous guerrilla known as “XXXXX” [NAME REDACTED].

BLACK AND WHITE  POST PHOTO:  “Fleur No. 4” (1992) by Catriona Fraser, purchased from the photographer in 1994.