Yes, you read that right. I have a boyfriend, a boyfriend like no other. They [their preferred pronoun which admittedly makes this post title confusing] are the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be. They are my sun, my moon, and all my stars. They are Cole Escola, my greatest adventure. Oh, Cole, let’s flip a coin: heads you are mine, tails I am yours.
I first laid eyes on Cole, my reason for living, last May at the Met Gala when they showed up wearing this adorable outfit with — OMG — that adorable face:
As soon as I saw them, I recognized the Thom Brown Spring 2021 archival runway double breasted sack sport coat in white diamonds pique with white grosgrain tipping and medium crest embroidery, ankle length belt loop skirt in white linen with small crest embroidery, cable knit vest in white cashmere, crochet hat with white tulle veil, hector basket bag and varsity loafers in white suede. To die for!
At that time, I had NO idea who this Dreamboat was, but then . . . I discovered that my Buttercup was starring off Broadway in a play they had written called, “Oh, Mary!” a comedic spoof of the lives of Mary Todd Lincoln and my previous boyfriend, Abraham Lincoln. And to make my heart beat even faster, the play was centered around the assassination fascination I had as a child. How did my Precious Darling know?
Yes, the show is set in the days leading up to Lincoln’s assassination which occurred while he [preferred pronoun?] and Mary were watching, “Our American Cousin” at Ford’s Theater. The show portrays Mary as someone who longs to live a life away from politics and be a vaudeville performer, while Lincoln uses her [preferred pronoun] as a beard to hide his sexuality, and is often away from home dealing with the issues of the Civil War, leaving her alone in the White House. Mary HATES that!
My McDreamy’s show has received stunning reviews (seriously, it has) and is now held over for a third time. Also receiving much attention is my Lovey Dovey’s wig with its bratty curls. The wig MUST BE WORN WITH THE RIGHT BRATTY ‘TUDE as seen in this video (click on hyperlink).
To be close to My One and Only, I have tried my mightiest to find my own bratty wig and practice my own bratty ‘tude, but alas, I just don’t have the astonishing talent of my Prince Charming. Neither do I have the wig. But I continue to make do with what I can find . . . as seen here in a photo that Adrienne captured one afternoon then texted to me with the caption, “Oh, Mary!”
I had to think of several nouns for my Honey Bunny because Cole came out as non-binary in 2022, but I called him “my boyfriend,” the moment I saw him — Adrienne will confirm this. Also, those who know me will know that the title, “My Boyfriend,” will, at a minimum, be ironic.
I hope that my Sweet Cheeks won’t be offended that I call “him” my “boyfriend.” I say it with profound respect and devotion. Oh, Cole, is it okay that I use she/her pronouns and am your girlfriend?
I love it! He is so adorable.
Oh, Mary, you are so, so RIGHT! Also, I forgive you on behalf of my Sweet Pea for using the male pronoun, “he” because you recognized my Pookie’s adorability.
A whole new world.
Yes, Charlotte, it’s a whole new world and IT IS SO CUTE!
How swell that you’ve brought a new cutie to your playground here! Ticket sales are sure to soar after your endorsement here!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh, I hope so, Beth. I wonder if the New York Times will pick up my endorsement.🙏🤞
A new YOU emerging here. Or is this YOU really so different? Your new cutie is very feminine, are they not?
Is this ME really so different? Hmmmmm.
Well, for one thing, I don’t have and could never pull off wearing the, “Thom Brown Spring 2021 archival runway double breasted sack sport coat in white diamonds pique with white grosgrain tipping and medium crest embroidery.” Seriously, my skin tone just isn’t right.
For another thing, my beloved Cole wears the Mary wig and dress better than I ever could . . . perhaps one day I will don these treasures with as much aplomb as my Doodlebug, but until then, it is their turn to shine.
Let me first say that Sharon is not exaggerating. When she first saw Cole, she gasped and jumped up to get closer to the TV. “Who is this person? I just adore them! What is it about them?”
And then the investigation began. The next morning, a flurry of texts, images and discussion, all revolving around her “boyfriend”. It hasn’t stopped, so I know the attraction is real.
Why am I not upset? They make her happy. Plus, who could blame her?
Is there a better wing woman than Adrienne?
Thank you for attesting to how my Cole keeps my world spinning and my heart swirling. Oh, I just get dizzy thinking about them and that bratty wig. Be still my heart!
And yes, they make me very happy and you, Adrienne, have been so very, very patient (as always).