On my 12th birthday in June 1965, my mother gave me an autograph book with multi-colored pages (you will learn that this is an important detail, so please continue to read). I took it to school and over the next several months asked fellow seventh graders to sign it. What do their autographs reveal about me and/or them?
After extensive review, the autographs generally fit into five categories: Affirmations, Insults, Humor, Math and Poetry.
AFFIRMATIONS
Also, “You have been a wonderful friend,” “It’s been a pleasure to have you for a friend,” “You are one of my best friends,” and from my seventh grade geography teacher, Ernest Snyder (yes, he signed his full name): “Good luck to a good girl.”
INSULTS
Also, “You are as yellow as this page,” “I write on pink because you stink,” and “I write on blue because you are a boo-boo.”
HUMOR
Also, “Yours till the kitchen sinks,” “Yours till the Statue of Liberty has twins,” and “Yours till the Mississippi wears rubber pants to keep your [which was then crossed out and changed to:] her bottom dry.”
MATH
Also this brilliant variation, “2 Dumb + 2 Be = 4 Gotten.”
POETRY
Also:
— Roses were red, violets were blue, sugar was sweet, and so were you. But the roses are wilted, the violets dead, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.
— Roses are red, violets are black, You’d look better with a knife in your back!
— One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and there Sharon goes!
— When you get old and out of shape, remember Playtex Girdles are only $5.98!
— I write on white to be polite, and leave the yellow for some rude fellow.
— Never kiss a boy by your garden gate, for love is blind and the neighbors ain’t.
— Papa Moses shot a skunk, Mama Moses cooked a chunk, Baby Moses ate a hunk. Holy Moses! But it stunk! AND THIS VARIATION: I write in your autograph book to tell you what I think . . . and as for now, I have to say, “Boy, do you ever stink!” [THIS WAS SIGNED, “Dolly, Jr.” — MY YOUNGEST SISTER USING MY MOTHER’S FIRST NAME.]
Wow. And now we know why I have a collection of 1,200+ volumes of poetry. It’s hard to know how to assess these autographs, but I have to give credit to Wendy L. who offered this autograph, having no idea how prescient it would be:
Several of the autographs from June-September 1965 included this message, “Get well soon.” I had no idea what my friends were referring to, but in the middle of the night, I pondered, Wendy L.’s cryptic, “Your head is dark, a broken leg . . .”, and flashed on a memory that I have attempted to write about before.
I reread the draft of that memory and I shall try again now that there is “a spark in all that dark.”
I believe a couple of my blood sisters read this blog (I am not sure, and if they do, they seldom, if ever, comment here or to me). However, their autographs are included in this autograph book.
As revealed in the post, my youngest sister signed her autograph, “Dolly, Jr.” using my mother’s first name. My oldest sister is the poet behind, “When you get old and out of shape, remember Playtex Girdles are only $5.98!” My next-to-youngest sister documented this: “GI hair cuts, GI Hats, GI This and GI That, GI Like you, GI Do, GI Hope you Like me, too.” She signed her full name.
It was poignant to come across the autograph left by my middle sister who died from MS complications in March of 2001. She wrote this sentiment completely backwards, and I had to hold it up to a mirror to read it: “Can I play monopoly? Only u can read this.” Kind of weird, but I’m impressed with the time it took to write it backwards.
Another interesting detail: the writer of, “I write on pink because you stink,” signed HIS autograph, “Barbie.” He is now married to a man and lives in California.
Sharon, I am impressed that you even have the autograph book. I suspect that the book’s words capture a moment in the development of an entire life–yours and theirs. Maybe there is an indication of your love of words and your keen interest.
Charlotte — I’m kind of impressed, too, but that I saved so much of this stuff indicates, I suspect, my drive to prove that I, Sharon, existed; that I had an identity outside of being a daughter.
Yes, the autograph book reveals my keen interest in words; an interest I had had since I was about three years old. That my mother gifted me with this autograph book shortly after I had an accident on a bike (yes, it has all come back to me), may indicate that she felt bad about how incapacitated I was and thought I would feel better to read sentiments from my friends which, looking back, is sweet,
You have kept so many, many memories of your life. Amazing and impressive. And you are so honest–posting the negative comments as well as the positive. A good balance-example, I think, for all of us. I find in these late years of my life, that it’s so easy to get caught up in one or the other and allow myself to become depressed or overly elated. Sigh.
Carol, in all honesty, I think the “insults” were just friends trying to be funny and/or showing off. Reading them 60+ years later didn’t depress me, but made me wonder what sort of smart-alecky things I may have written in THEIR autograph books. We all had them.
And you? I’m yours until the Statue of Liberty has twins!
Ahh, the sight of a sweet old pastime: cursive
Damn, I just laughed out loud. And I actually won a cursive handwriting award in third grade. No wonder I won so many writing awards as a creative director when I worked in corporate America. Uh, I did win many awards, but today, my handwriting is impossible to read.😐